Yo, Meathead!

It’s baseball season again! So without further ado, here are my notes from around the leagues.

In the AL East, Toronto is off to a great start, and the Red Sox are slow out of the gate—but where have we seen that before? With Baltimore awful, as always, does anyone really doubt that this division will once again be a two-team race between New York and Boston? The Rays are always worth considering, but I’d be a little surprised if they were there at the end with the other two perennial contenders. Of course, that’s the beauty of it being so early in the season—no one really knows what will happen in a month, let alone by October!

Along with their new stadium, Target Field, the Twins currently rule the Central, with Detroit only half a game behind. Not sure I really have a handle on this division, so I’ll reserve judgment for now. The most pleasant surprise here is that the Royals aren’t mired in last place yet. Even though they are a game under .500, Chicago and Cleveland are playing worse ball so far. Not that this division really means anything to me, but I’d be glad to see a successful Royals team for a change. In the last 20 years, Kansas City has had a winning record just three times, and none of those was good enough for better than a third-place finish. Never mind that the Cubs haven’t won it all since 1908—I’d say Royals fans and Pirates fans are the most long-suffering in baseball. At least the Cubs are competitive sometimes!

I am very excited to see the A’s in first place and the Angels in last place in the West! I don’t know if Oakland can hold this position all season, but the pitching looks solid at the moment. If it continues, expect the A’s to win a lot of games by scores of 3–1 or 4–1 and compete for the division. And though I don’t condone cocaine use by any stretch of the imagination, I like Ron Washington and wish him success with Texas (as long as the Rangers don’t beat the A’s much). I’d be glad to see the Rangers duke it out with the A’s for the top spot all year. I’d also be psyched to see the Angels languish in last—you think Vlad Guerrero’s move to Texas has anything to do with the Rangers’ and Angels’ reversal of fortunes? As for Seattle—I don’t see it. The best thing I can say about the Mariners right now is that they have Eric Byrnes—but hey, this is coming from an A’s fan!

Moving over to the Senior Circuit, I think there are fewer surprises here than in the AL. In the East, having the Phils on top is no shock, and while I can’t say my expectations were very high for my Mets, the reality punctures any fantasy balloon that might have existed even a little.

In the Central, as of today, St. Louis is the only team with a winning record, which may speak volumes about how competitive this division is going to be. Cinci is only 1.5 games back, at .500, but the rest go down from there. Didn’t really know much about this year’s Astros coming in, but to see them at 1–8 and already three games behind Pittsburgh (and Milwaukee and Chicago) means they’ll have to go on some sort of incredible run at some point if they want to be in the mix. Fortunately for them, that might not be so hard with so many games against the rest of the division!

I’m a little bit surprised at the Giants’ fast start in the West, but as long as they no longer employ Barry “Bighead” Bonds, I have nothing against them. Heck, the city of San Fran could use a winner these days! (Do the Sharks count?) I did think the Dodgers would do better, but I think they’ll recover and challenge for the West pennant again.

Questions? Comments? Arguments? Lemme hear what you’ve got to say!

SEASONINGS: I sure will be excited when Elin Nordgren divorces her scumbag cheating husband. (What’s his name again? Oh, yeah—Tiger Woods!) Then we can get this story off of the sports pages and focus on the sports themselves. Do I care about how Tiger’s image is affected? Do I care about how the game of golf is affected? Not in the least. I’m just sick of hearing about him.

Same goes for Ben Roethlisberger. Will the Steelers just suspend this moron already and get on with it? Personally, I think they should cut him and see how well he does on another team like the Rams! (Not that I would wish him on St. Louis coach Steve Spagnuolo or anything!)

Finally, I’ve disliked the Jets for a long time, but now I have no respect for them, either. Jets = Raiders East, and I’m not saying that in admiration! I’d love to see Rex Ryan fall on his face, but I doubt we’ll ever see him on the ground unless someone puts a cake there. Yuck!